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I consider myself a fan of Will Ferrell. I have generally enjoyed his films. Elf was funny and Talladega Nights had me rolling. Stranger then Fiction is actually in my Top 20 movie favorites. I thought that movie was brilliantly written and the cast was great. The premise of that film was intriguing and the undertones in spirituality wasn’t lost. That someone else writes the pages of your life, both good and bad, and regardless of whether you agree with the outcome, plays heavily into the parallels of belief in divinity. And sometimes, fate gives you a break. I loved the story, as well as the execution.

I tend to love Stupid Comedies. My life is serious and stressful and depressing enough as it is, so I go to movies to laugh and escape. When I first saw the previews for Step Brother, for some reason I wasn’t interested. But a friend of mine came and raved about this movie. He said I HAD to see it! He laughed so much, he told me, that he saw it a second time just to see what he missed laughing. Then he gave me a Free Movie Pass. Laughing my tush off for free,  how do you pass that up!?!

I saw Step Brothers today and just HAD to run home and blog about it. So even though it’s 1:16 am and I have to be up at 5:45 to go to work, I couldn’t wait. I’m here thumb tapping away on my phone since I’m sans Internet at home right now, because I just had to share this experience with you.

I suggest that if you go see this movie, take a friend. In fact take them all, because nobody should have to suffer alone. Oh my gosh, I hated, hated, hated this movie. I’ve walked out of movies before (Lord of the Rings), so this wasn’t quite that bad. I sat through this one.   Partly through the movie a group of people got up and left and I just thought, “I’m sure they’re gonna miss something.  The good part must be coming, It has to get better.”  It didn’t, it just got longer.

I ranked the movie Sideways as the all time worst movies I’ve  ever sat completely through (until today).  But that movie at least had B-grade artistic flair that Step Brother lacks.  It wasn’t stupid funny, it was just plain stupid.  I might have chuckled 3 times, maybe it was 4. None of the moments were memorable enough to be able to tell you when it was. This script seems like its written by high school kids, but not the Ben Affleck / Matt Damon ‘Good Will Hunting’ high school kids movie.  I’m talking about the ‘sit in the corner of the lunchroom flinging mashed potatoes’, ‘Sitting in front of the girls locker room hoping to catch a glimpse when the door swings open’, ‘Going to health class praying for sex ed’ Goober high school kids.  There was absolutely nothing about this movie that should appeal to a person with a mental age above 16.

The concept behind this movie is actually a plausibly intriguing storyline.  A pair of single parents each have a 40 year old son that still lives at home.  Not something I haven’t seen in real life so OK, it can happen.  The parents meet, fall in love and get married.  They move in together as any married couple would do, and the son moves in as well.  Now 2 co-dependant 40 year old men have to cope with a drastic change in lifestyles, so of course hilarity ensues, right?  If only!

Both Will and his Step Brother, (played by John C. Riley, his co-star in Talladega Nights), play their characters as if they were mentally challenged, ADHD kids, lacking in the basic norms relating to social standards, or even a high school education.  Their actions are ones you would smack out of a 17 year old, not ones you would dare to tolerate from a 40 year old.  (If I said even one of the things they said to their parents to my mother, she’d knock me into next year.)  And the antics were just antics,  half weren’t need to expand the plot, it was just there to see how gross they could be and how far they could push things.  Again, it’s like they sat around with 15-16 year old boys and said, “write this, and put in whatever you think your mother would hate.”

If I died yesterday without catching the movie, I believe that my life would have been just as fulfilled had I never seen Will Ferrell pull out and rub his testicles all over a drum set, graphically and continuously for nearly a minute.  I would have also been OK never having to watch him lick a white, petrified dog turd in a Norma Desmond inspired close-up.  The part where he runs out of toilet paper so he uses the bathmat… are you friggin’ kidding me?!!!  The sleep walking scenes, Idiotic.  The two of them getting beaten up by junior high school aged kids, Moronic.  The bunk bed scene that they play in the commercials is about the only semi-humorous part, and if you watch TV commercials you’ve seen it already.  There literally, truly and honestly is no reasons for a sane person to go spend any money to see this movie.  Doing so just condones the creation of horrible movies.  Hollywood needs to be held accountable.  Warn your friends, there really is no way to ever get that hour and a half of your life back.  You’d be better served crocheting sweaters for homeless cats.