WHAT IS!…….

I’m not going to lie, the past 5 weeks or so have been a bit more stressful than I had anticipated. They’ve also been substantially more emotional and emotionally draining then I had thought. I had not expected to have such a difficult time figuring out when to leave. Walking away from a career was tough enough, but that quickly faded to a distant memory.

I had really hoped the VIA thing would come through so I would be able to have that CDL endorsement when I was applying for work. It also would have bought me some more time to help mom and the girls get stuff done they need help with. My biggest concern has been about leaving the girls. Also, it may be my imagination but mom seems to be having a bit of a difficult time with me leaving. She really wants me to get the VIA thing. She keeps making suggestions like I should call them or go down and apply again in person. She even let me know VIA was hiring Police Officers (I of course was like, “Umm, if I wanted to be a cop in Texass I would have stayed with the county.) Plus, she worries the crap out of me. She’s only a couple years from 60 yet she still acts like she has no limitations. I’m extremely concerned about her.

So I’m praying I hear from VIA really soon, but I’m not sure how much longer to give them. Every day I sit hear I’m burning money with nothing coming in. I’m days away from having to pay another month for storage. I’m also going a bit stir crazy. At the same time, I need to figure out what would be best for finding an apartment in Colorado, before the end of the month or after. Its just a stressing mess.

I’m going to give them till Friday I guess. If I don’t hear anything by then, I’ll leave some time Satuday.

I guess that answers the question to the answer.

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With the added Big Boyness that is Goliath came a bigger, beefier motor, which in turn meant more towing prowess. I went from a puny 2000lbs to over 5000lbs. Some websites even claimed 6000lbs. That meant that I could get a bigger trailer and take more of the useless crap I’ve been hanging onto for years for no apparent reason. Primarily it meant I could take the bed I hate (which I guess a crappy bed is better then no bed), and also the loveseat I hate. The dogs love it, and it would mean less stress on them to have something familiar, so it would be good to take it and get rid of it in Colorado.

So I did the research and settled on a 6′X12′. They average around 1300lbs and can carry around 1700lbs in cargo, so I’m figuring its perfect. I also decided on a V-Front for better aerodynamics and fuel economy. New they’re around 4 grand so I figured I’d hit the ever-helpful Craigslist. I found exactly what I was looking for at a great price of $2100, but it was in Lexington. After having a few get away I called the guy and made arrangements to go see it.

Lexington is about 300 miles away, so it was a good chance to put Goliath to the long distance test, and I’d have a good chance to figure out the gas mileage pulling the trailer at highway speeds. I set off early, windows down, roof open and radio blaring. An hour in I was hitting San Marcos when all of a sudden the truck started shuddering like I threw a weight. I pulled over and checked all the tires for missing weights or bulges. Nothing. The tires are Brand New so I wasn’t expecting anything. I got back on the highway and it drove like nothing was wrong.

An hour later, out of the blue, here comes the shudder again. It goes from mild to wild, and by the time I get off the highway it feels like its going to shake apart. Check the tires, fine. All the weights there. Shake each wheel and it feels solid. Start crawling underneath checking tierod ends, stearing and suspension for something broken. Nothing. I get to the back and notice the right rear wheel is smoking. I crawl under the back and I notice grease inside both rear wheels. I Google, and it appears both rear axle seals are blown. Nothing much I can do out here. The shudder is the grease on the rear brakeshoes causing them to swell as they heat up, and grab. Nothing life ending, and I’m closer to the destination then the departure point, so I continue on. When it shudders I pull over for a bit to let it cool before continuing. I make it to Lex on half a tank.

I check out the trailer and its just what I was looking for. It’s 6’6″ inside so I can stand upright, and its in great shape (aside from the awful orange paint inside). Lexington is a country town with 20mph dirt roads for miles. Still Goliath pulls the trailer along like it’s not even there. I get up to 40 in the dirt, doesn’t even get past 3000RPM. We settle on $1900, I’m happy, he’s happy, I head for the highway and home.

I’m tooling along, happy as can be, and finally get to the highway. I merge on and accelerate towards highway speed. 50… 55… 60…. 60…. 60… 55… 50… 45…. Uh oh. I almost immediately realize I have an unforeseen issue. It’s incredibly windy, and I’m fighting a 24mph headwind. Even still, this trailer is a third of the towing capacity and it’s empty. I did not expect it to have so much trouble keeping speed. But it does. I’m just shy of floorboard pegged. If I peg it, it kicks down a gear. The engine races and it gets up to 65 and 70. But then as soon as I back off and it shifts up (even with overdrive switched off) it drops speed like a parachute deployed. I’m able to hold 55, 60 on a downhill. Hills are bad news. Even with strong winds its obvious that loaded and in the Mountains of Colorado, I’m not making it without blowing my motor.

It takes 2 tankfulls to get home. The grease smell is overwhelming and I’m hoping I haven’t fried the rear axle bearings while I’m freaking out a little about the trailer situation. It was priced right, so the next day I list it on Craigslist. I explain my predicament and ask $2400obo, or trade for a clean, smaller 5×8 box enclosed trailers. Within 2 hours, Russell calls.

The day before, Russell bought a 5′X10′ V-Front enclosed trailer for his motorcycle. This trailer is 5’6″ inside, and its too small for him. He had just listed it online and came across my ad. We agree that he brings it by. After looking at them, they’re both what we each should have bought in the first place. Being a foot shorter and a foot narrower placed the trailer almost completely Behind Goliath, having nearly no wind impact at all. It was clean, in great shape, and had a spare (which the big one didn’t and I was going to buy, so it saved me $200).

We agreed to trade.

I may have to leave the couch, or sell the head & foot board, or both. But as long as I’m not getting 5 MPG with this trailer it’ll be worth it.

By the by: The rear axle seals? $600. But at least its fixed and it happened now and not on the way to Colorado.

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(Wait, don’t, I can’t afford it.)

So I guess it’s about time to catch people (you) up.

Last year I bought my much loved Subaru Outback. I spent a ridiculous amount of time; and more money then I should have; in junkyards to find all those little annoying bits that break on a 15 year old car. I probably made 8 or 9 trips, but I found pretty much everything to make my Subie perfect. For an old car, she ran great. Everything worked, from the cruise to the power windows to the A/C that blows snowballs.

With the exception of a couple minor issues (the alternator went out, 90 bucks and 20 minutes we were right as rain again) she never gave me grief. She was a very clean car.

I had some great times with her, including the week-long trip to the coast we took together, my 3 dogs, my Subie and me. Spent a few days camped out on the beach. The AWD work flawlessly and while big Z71 trucks were getting stuck, I had no problem. We were able to go out further then most people and find some secluded sand to make camp. An air mattress in the back and we were golden.

I don’t remember how she got nicknamed the “Jubaru” but of course stickers had to be made. Then the came the Subie-Doobie-Doo.

She’s the perfect Colorado car too, and they love them up there because of the All Wheel Drive. I did the timing belt, the brakes, got her some new Michellins and a tow hitch. Just all around got her ready to go to our new home. Then it happened…

I was driving home and I noticed every light I would stop at the temperature would go up…high. I figured the thermostat was stuck and immediate turned around and drove to the mechanic. After an agonizing wait Mark came out to the waiting room and sat with me. It wasn’t good. The Head Gasket was failing. The options were few. I couldn’t afford to sink $2500 into doing a head gasket. There was an option for a liquid called “Steel Seal.” It was no guarantee and even if it worked there was no guarantee it’ll hold. I decided to take the risk. It wasn’t cheap, but $600 was better then the other option.

It took all day, but the procedure worked. The Subie-Doo was back on the road. But then the reality check time came. She was back, but her ticker was weak. There was no way I could risk her making a trip into the mountains pulling a trailer. She could blow a stitch out there and be too far gone to save. No, I couldn’t do that to my old girl. I would have to find her a new home. It was time to “Share the Love.”

It hurt my heart, but I put her on Craigslist. Within a week, she was gone to greener pastures. My Subie-Doobie-Doo was gone.

Then came the challenge of replacing her. I went through several option before deciding to look for an old flame. I used to have a thing for the 3rd Generation Toyota 4Runner. I don’t know why, but I never really tried to buy one. Turns out its harder then I thought. Though I see them EVERYWHERE, nobody ever seems to sell them. My search led me hundreds of miles, to Austin, New Braunfels, Houston, all with very little luck. 4X4 was my first choice, but Hoffa would be easier to find. When they would come up in my price range I would call and they’d already be sold. I finally found one in New Braunfels and drove out to see it.

It was perfect. Drove it, checked it out and over and couldn’t find anything wrong. At $6500 the price was in value. I was gonna make an offer, but this little voicie of Kane was in my ear. Our last conversation about his Honda kept playing in my head. “I took the car to the dealer to check it out, just to make sure.” Well, I can’t find anything wrong, but why not throw away $100 for piece of mind. Sure enough, dealer comes back with a clean bill of health, except for the blown rear differential which will cost $3500 to replace!!! Holy Shitake Mushrooms Batman! Wasted 100 to save 3500.

Needless to say, that deal was a no-go. I gave up on 4WD but kept looking for a 4Runner. I looked at a few more, and finally found a kid from Austin with a real clean ’99. His dad worked for Toyota for 28 years and he talked him into it, even though he wanted a pick-up. He’s a roofer and was promoted so now he NEEDS a pick-up truck. He was asking a reasonable $5000. After checking it out, it needed rear shocks and front brakes, so he was willing to take $4500. I thought it was fair….

So…. Time to meet Goliath

I was asked as I was going to pick it up, “Are you excited?” I said, “I don’t get excited about old used cars anymore.” When I bought it, I dropped all the windows, opened the rear liftgate window, opened the HUGE sunroof, blasted the stereo and instantly made a liar out of myself. I WAS EXCITED.

This truck instantaneous became my favorite thing. A friend said what I was feeling, “That truck suits you.” It really does.

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Thursday, March 15th is my last day at the office.  That’s exactly one week after my 11 year anniversary.  It is also just 5 more work days away.

I’m supposed to feel nervous, or anxious, or excited, or something, but to be honest I don’t.  It just feels like tomorrow is another day.  If I feel anything it is stressed, if that. And not for what you might think.  I’m not stressed about quitting the most stable job I’ve ever had, in the worst economic times of recent history and leaving my family and support group to travel across the country to start over in a new state. 

Nope, I’m stressed over whether I’ll be able to finish off the cases I set to finish before I left.  There were just some that I really wanted to make sure were filed, for the sake of the victims.  I don’t think I’ll be able to finish.

But at the moment that is what is on my mind.  Ask me again at the end of next week how I feel…

“Ay Cesar,” the prophet responded, “but not gone.”

Later that day Cesar was stabbed to death 23 time.  I’ve wondered upon hearing that if it was truly Brutus and his minions that killed Cesar, or the seer wanting to insure his foretold fortune is fulfilled.

With that…. The Ides of March are swiftly approaching, and if it was good enough for Cesar’s departure it’s good enough for me.  I’ve been having some back and forth trying to figure out this much abbreviated stay after the previously oft mentioned predicament I’ve found myself.  I was going to leave at the end of March, then I thought the 8th, but now I think that if I can stay at my mothers (as she’s offered), I’ll put in 2 weeks notice on the first of March.  Therefore, March 15th will be my last day at work.

With her 8 big dogs, it’ll be difficult and uncomfortable for me and my 3 little dogs, but beggars can’t be choosy.  I’ll have to keep mine cooped up in the room most of the time for their safety.  I’ll also have to figure out how to get them outside for walks, but it’ll work out.  It’s only for a few weeks and then we’ll be able to start our new adventure.

So as that seems to be the most likely solution at this time….Beware the Ides of March, for unemployment is coming…

I love Colorado.  I’ve enjoyed every visit I’ve ever had there.  If forced to chose only 1 of 2 choices, anywhere in Texas I fancied or my least favorite city in Colorado (Pueblo), I’d still chose Colorado.  I don’t regret the decision to leave here.  That’s not what this is about.  I AM leaving here, and I AM heading to Colorado.

The “options” I speak of are the options that befall me once I set foot in Colorado.  My friend Brad lives in a Lakewood, which is a town within Denver Metro.  That is where I’ll be establishing my base camp, in or around Lakewood.  But I don’t know that I want to live there.  Personally, I would rather live in Boulder, or further West.  I LOOOOOVE Boulder, but it is SUPER expensive.  I don’t know that I could afford to live there, and I don’t know that I would be happily-ever-after in Denver.  I really like Colorado Springs, and I could live there, but happily-ever-after?   I don’t know.

I think about my brother a lot in this regard.  He packed and bailed first, and went to Oregon.  But after moving to his destination he is not sure it’s where he want to stay forever.  I kinda got that feeling the last time I was in Lakewood.  Like I may not want to be there forever and ever amen.  I won’t know for sure until I get there, but part of the issue is that I have all these other options I would have chosen if I had more money, or some sort of marketable skill.

If money was not an issue, or I was marketable to the Fortune 500, I would prefer to move out of this country.  Europe would be my ideal dream.  I watch the HGTV show, House Hunters International and always am ready to head to the airport immediately after.  I watched an episode recently where a couple moved to Italy and bought an apartment in this Old World village called Trevigno (said like the Spanish name Treviño).  They paid $40,000 because it was move in ready.  I almost cried.  I was trying to figure out if I could rob a bank and make it to the airport before I’m found out.  (kidding….or am I?)

Canada would be a great option and VERY high on my list.  Last time I was in Canada I didn’t want to come back.  I sat at the Border crossing for 2 hours and nearly wept trying to figure out a way to transform into a Canuck.  I still to this day have the Canadian money I had left over in my safe.  I never exchanged it back because I knew I would some day be back.  I have every intention; once I get settled in Colorado and start applying for schools and financial aid, I fully intend to apply for schools in Canada.

Also, the North East still has my heart.   I miss New York a lot.  If I could afford it; and could find a job that would pay enough to not need to work 2 just to pay for a 300 sq/ft apartment; I would move to New York right now.  It’s Jewtopia, and that would be so awesome.  I could do the whole city life, subway rides, deli stops, central park runs sort of world.   I dreamed a dream in time gooonnneeee byyyyyyyy…….

I’ve been told of a possible job in North Dakota too.  That is with an engineering firm and could open me to getting a job over seas with some experience.  It’s not ideal, but The Dakota’s are beautiful.  They’re pretty close to Canada too…

Regardless, I’m so glad to be leaving.  I’m not happy with the way I’m going, but at least I’m going.  The universe will work itself out for me.  I have faith in my determination and perseverance.  The world is my oyster, I just have to find the right Shucker.

If you’ve been keeping up, you know about the situation with my apartment complex.  If not, read it here first: http://blogadoodle.org/stress-and-motivation

Well after some panicking and stressing and freaking out, I came to the realization that I have 2 options.

#1 Cancel the move and find an apartment to sign a 1 year lease and maybe try again next year.

#2 Ramp the timeline up

So being the level headed, safe and responsible person I am,  I’ve decided to ramp it up.  (Yes, that was the well expected sarcasm in the beginning of that sentence there.)

The original plan was to work Rodeo to make as much money as I can, then on the first of March I would give the Sheriff’s Office 30 days notice.  30 days is not required, but it would give me plenty of time to clean up loose ends and close off as many cases as I could to not have someone else left holding my bag.  That would have put my last day as March 29th.  Then in April I would have plenty of free time to sell off all the uneeded clutter I’ve amassed by going to the flea market and setting up a booth for a couple weekends. Then when my final check came in I could celebrate my sister’s birthday with the family and then head out peacefully and quietly.

But no, Texas is a shithole, and as such it constantly shits on your plans.  So in careful consideration; after a brief period of freaking out; I’ve decided that the plan needs to be changed.  I still intend to work Rodeo the whole way through as permitted. Then after Rodeo, on Monday February 27th, I will give 2 weeks notice.  That means Thursday, March 8th will be my last day at work.  (My week is Sunday through Thursday). I am going to see if the apartment will let me pay for March without signing a new lease.  I don’t know that she will, but she might.

If not, I’ll put everything in storage for a month and move into one of those Inntown Suites for a few weeks.  That will give me some time to still sell off what I can, donate the rest to Goodwill and go.

If this plan works out…as….planned…… That would mean I am going to be unemployed in 33 and a half days from right now.  For some reason that wasn’t as scary as approaching 60 days was, and this happened overnight.   I’m just ready to get out of here I guess.

See, I don’t pay rent here, and in exchange I am their courtesy officer.  I walk the property at night, I do their monthly light check reports, I handle all the parking issues.   And, every time a resident calls the answering service to whine about a dog barking, a car alarm going off, an upstairs neighbor “walking too loud” or loud music and noises I get called.  3 to 5 times a week, sometimes twice a night, at all hours.  I’m woken up constantly with this stuff, all in exchange for rent.

Now I’m fired, so as I don’t work here I’m also essentially evicted.  she says I ‘still have the option of residing at Huebner Oaks,”  I just have to sign a lease and start paying rent (at a ridiculously overvalued rate) I just can’t afford right now.

As I plan to quit my job and leave the state in April you would imagine I wouldn’t care much, and I wouldn’t but a few Major problems.

#1 It’s February and Rodeo so I’m going to be working 15 hour days for about 20 of the next 27 days, leaving me almost no time to look for a new place, pack and move.

#2 Even if I can find the time (and energy) to do it, I need to find a month to month lease, which will probably cost me as much as staying here, but I can’t sign a 12 month lease here.

#3 I am already behind budget financially since the NBA cut half the season, and thusly my pay. Now this unexpected expense 56 days, no 55 days before I’m going to be unemployed is going to hurt.

I’d like to say I can’t believe this Bitch didn’t have the audacity to call me and tell me face to face, but I’m not.  She’s a total bitch, and her entire staff hates her.  She’s fired several maintenance men, and at least 10 different leasing agents in the 14 months she’s been here.  She has never responded to a single e-mail or safety issue I’ve raised since she came.  I’ve been on pins and needles thinking she was wanting to get rid of me for a year.

Sigh… I don’t need this right now.  At least it’s another sign telling me I DO need to get the hell out of this place.  San Antonio has had this awful, negative cloud over me and my family for quite some time.  More motivation to pack it up and find a new chance at life.

As I wrote in that, I sent the fil-A-Holes my opinion.  Today I got a response….

I got an e-mail response to today from Timothy, through an e-mail titled “Chick-fil-A CARES.”  This is what good ‘ole Timothy had to say:

Dear Mr. Skurnik:

At Chick-fil-A, we have a genuine commitment to hospitality for all of our guests.  We are not anti-anybody and have no agenda, policy or position against anyone.  We have a 65-year history of providing hospitality for all people and, as a dedicated family business, serving and valuing everyone regardless of their beliefs or opinions.

We support a number of organizations that enrich the communities where we serve daily. Some of these organizations are faith-based and marriage-focused and other organizations are not.

We continue to focus on our mission to “Be America’s Best Quick-Service Restaurant” and our aim is to provide the highest quality food in a clean restaurant with excellent service.

Sincerely,

Timothy

Chick-fil-A CARES

Chick-fil-A…We Didn’t Invent The Chicken,

Just The Chicken Sandwich.

On the Web at www.chick-fil-a.com

SOOOOOOOOO, THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO THAT:

Mr. Timothy,

So glad to hear that you are “supporting a number of organizations that enrich the communities”.  How can we Facilitate a Public Donation from Chick-fil-A to the “Human Right Campaign” (http://www.hrc.org/support) to help them in their work to ensure “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Equal Rights,” so that we can help spread the word that you “[value] everyone regardless of their beliefs or opinions.”

I’m sure the most discriminated population in America would love to know that such a large organization at Chick-fil-A believes in and honors the message of Jesus to “Judge not lest ye be judged thyself.”  Maybe spread a little hope for kids like this, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg&feature=share  That life doesn’t have to end just because you’re different.

I’ll be updating my websites with your message of hope, I look forward to hearing about your message of Commitment to ALL Humanity.

Take Care,

Oren Skurnik

San Antonio, TX

For some reason I don’t expect much, but let’s see what happens…